Yesterday, at Leicester Square Tube, I relinquished all hope for humanity. Gormless individuals with seemingly no spatial awareness plodded in circles, lost in their dimly-humming thoughts and blocking everyone’s way. A crowd fifty-strong couldn’t get past four people who’d formed their own little queue across the platform to jostle for the sole unoccupied seat on the train. And I thought: how is humankind supposed to survive the tough years ahead when some people can’t even get themselves on a bastard tube train without treading on each other? And then I thought: it’s high time I moved out of London.