Author Archives: Clay

About Clay

I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-a to chimpanzee.

Why I Hate My Friends Pt. 2

Posted on December 15, 2010 by Clay

Working at a gas stations sucks; especially when your best friends and the pathetic lackey who latches himself to them because no one else can stomach his company scale your building and film themselves drenching you with buckets of water … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime | Leave a comment

Here In My Car

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Clay

The first “success” story of my permanently futile dating life was at long last being reciprocated in my attempts to get under a girl’s shirt. Making the move while driving, I struggled to focus as my hand nervously worked through … Continue reading →

Posted in Romance | 1 Comment

Why I Hate My Friends

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Clay

I once had roommates who failed to differentiate between pranks and criminal destruction of property. One evening as I slept, they “pranked” me by breaking off my bedroom doorknob, then left for work without fixing it. With my phone in … Continue reading →

Posted in Comedy | Leave a comment