Author Archives: Anonymous

Pet Grooming

Posted on June 13, 2011 by Anonymous

Last summer, we paid a pet groomer eighty dollars to shave our long-haired and very overheated cat. This year, we saved the 80 bucks and did it ourselves. It was late at night and we’d been drinking. I guess we … Continue reading →

Posted in Adventure | 1 Comment

Enhanced Interrogation

Posted on May 23, 2011 by Anonymous

So the other night, I was dreaming about fishing. Then, I’d somehow taken Osama bin Laden prisoner. I had him stuffed into one of those cat carriers that you use to take animals to the vet. Then I was sitting … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror | Leave a comment

A Bicycle

Posted on May 17, 2011 by Anonymous

I got a brand new bicycle; I got a cool new bike! Went to Walmart to buy it and I got a lime green bike. My bicycle has a basket rack and shiny lovely wheels. I went riding on my … Continue reading →

Posted in Comedy | Leave a comment

Chinatown DC

Posted on May 12, 2011 by Anonymous

It’s a surreal experience. There are black-power activists and crazy Christians shouting on their horns under a Chinese Arch. Hipsters walking around in outrageous outfits, waiting on the bus to NYC contrast nicely against dicks walking around with sticks up … Continue reading →

Posted in Adventure | Leave a comment

The Elephant-Sized Puddle in the Room

Posted on May 10, 2011 by Anonymous

There is a large and slowly growing puddle of liquid by the drinks fountain in our office kitchen, and I’m enjoying watching my colleagues pretending it’s not there. The first person to acknowledge it will have to do the decent … Continue reading →

Posted in Comedy | Leave a comment

That girl

Posted on April 26, 2011 by Anonymous

“That girl” is the girl who gives up her entire life for a man. “That girl” is the girl who will put her needs before her friends. “That girl” is the girl who use to make fun of “those girls,” … Continue reading →

Posted in Coming of Age | Leave a comment

Hold It

Posted on April 12, 2011 by Anonymous

I first encountered the phrase ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ on a Cub Scouts trip, when the leader, after a long day, asked wearily if anyone needed to use the bathroom before our bus left London for the … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror | Leave a comment

Wronged in the worse way

Posted on March 10, 2011 by Anonymous

We went to the beach this weekend. We saw wild ponies, walked the gray sandy beach, drank Bacardi and Coke from a Nalgene, played skee ball for hours, gave air hockey a try and took photo booth pictures. Twas like … Continue reading →

Posted in Romance | 1 Comment

In Too Deep

Posted on February 24, 2011 by Anonymous

I once went swimming with whale sharks, off the coast of Australia. It was amazing but I can’t say I enjoyed it. We were dropped by boat two miles out into the ocean where there were tiger sharks as well … Continue reading →

Posted in Horror | Leave a comment

Charity Begins at Someone Else’s Home

Posted on January 31, 2011 by Anonymous

We did a good turn this evening. Walking the dog, we saw a driver with his front wheels buried on a snow-covered driveway; pealing his engine and stuck fast. So we offered to push him off his driveway back onto … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime | Leave a comment