Today I left home at 8 a.m. without eating breakfast, and proceeded to spend the next seven hours trapped in a courtroom (as a reporter, not a defendant), where an opportunity for departure was not presented to anyone prior to … Continue reading
We did a good turn this evening. Walking the dog, we saw a driver with his front wheels buried on a snow-covered driveway; pealing his engine and stuck fast. So we offered to push him off his driveway back onto … Continue reading
Sitting alone one dull Saturday, I anticipated rescue from my boredom when my schoolyard chums called, asking if I’d be interesting in “participating in some good old fashioned teenage fun.” Sadly, my hopes of a wholesome day on the town … Continue reading
After two years of interactive celibacy, I finally made new friends my junior year of college. Being a very photogenic person, I decided to give my new acquaintances copies of my senior pictures, as they looked like people who would … Continue reading
This Christmas Eve, armed with a megaphone and a large white van, we drove around Tunbridge Wells town centre spreading joy with a pre-recorded announcement that ‘MONEY CANNOT BUY YOU HAPPINESS’. It wasn’t supposed to be an anti-consumerist statement. It … Continue reading
Working at a gas stations sucks; especially when your best friends and the pathetic lackey who latches himself to them because no one else can stomach his company scale your building and film themselves drenching you with buckets of water … Continue reading
I hate the sinking feeling of waking up hungover and knowing I’ve done something stupid. This time, my roommate was sitting at the end of my bed, laughing. It was you, wasn’t it, he cackled. No, I said. They’re calling … Continue reading
When I was thirteen, I practised stealthily dropping items into my sleeve all day before heading off to the local fair to steal things. It went okay until, several keyrings and badges down, I decided to graduate to a pen. … Continue reading
As youngsters, we used to light the corners of For Sale signs. They’d burn incredibly slowly with a tiny flame, and drip little bits of liquid plastic that made zipping noises as they fell. Now, they make the signs out … Continue reading